i Wish i Could Be On Time!

08 February 2004

Instability explored…
Tonight at work I made a very important decision. This was only after two business men (in suits and ties no less), asked me to hold their table so that they could go “burn one.” I was shocked! I know that in Eyes Wide Shut Nicole and Tom smoked pot constantly, but do all adults have this habit? I thought that was the high school thing to do. After telling these men that I refused to hold their table and rolling my eyes, I decided it was time for ME to “grow up.” This is a thought that goes through my head every so often, but is usually ignored. I went to one of the women at work and asked her if she would help me keep track of my tips so that I can start to pay my bills on my own and repay back my grandmother. To my surprise, she laughed and said that she was not financially stable either. Well shit oh dear, what is a girl to do? Dr. Johnson always jokes about the day that a child realizes that his/her parents are real people, and they don’t know everything. Sadly, I realized this at age two or so; but I always looked at certain adults with that childlike wonder; thinking that they had it all together. I have found out that I am not the only one having trouble growing up. I do wish to find some normality in my life and someone that is stable and that can help me! Maybe I should just buck it up and grow up on my own, but I’m utterly terrified…

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