i Wish i Could Be On Time!

12 March 2004

Extra, Extra! Read all about it! The Hallmark Man busted! (and with a card, no less...)
I have never claimed to be a good person, nor have I made any allegation to being an upstanding citizen, including high morals; but jesus! This morning as I wiped the crustiness from my eyes and rolled over, Hallmark Man and I made sweet love. Afterwards, as he was showering, I climbed out of bed and stretched. Then it hit me! Bam! For whatever reason, I have never snooped around looking at Hallmark Man's shit. But this morning with the bright deceiving sun flowing in the bedroom, I made a decision, one that would change my life as I know it...I snooped. Looking around plain as day there was a thank you card lying on his desk. A homemade thank you card, no less, so I looked. It was a sweet innocent thank you from a girl named Lauren. You'd think I'd be furious. Yes, I am. Not only with Hallmark Man, but also with myself. See, I had known about Lauren, but I thought she was out of the picture. Matt (Hallmark Man) had told me about her months ago; but he also led me to believe it was over. She's a virgin, and intends to stay that way; which of course makes Matt crazy. So here I am, fucking over the Virgin Mary! I feel like shit. I feel it is my moral obligation to tell this sweet innocent girl what as ass Matt is. Oh, curious what the thank you card was for? It was for the fun-filled, sexless one year anniversary! Matt says to me, "I do love you, what is wrong with loving two people?" Do I need to answer that? There is nothing wrong with loving two people, but it's not "normal" ok, it's just not right especially when there are innocent people getting hurt. (yes, in a fucked up way this includes me...)

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