i Wish i Could Be On Time!

15 March 2004

Hamilton Wash~N~Dry
Tonight I had my near death experience for the week. Usually it's something fun like almost hitting a tree or someone almost slamming into me or maybe it's something like eating something that I didn't know I was allergic to; i.e. lack of communication from the infamous mother. Tonight, it was not thrilling or even fun. It was plain fucking scary! So, I'm doing laundry, it's like 12:00am, and this woman walks into the laundry mat. She was beautiful, she looked a little like Lauren Hill. She had lighter skin and a really cool beanie on, I was diggin the hat; well anyway she walked in and smiled at me. I smiled back, and then she had to go to washer 9 because I had taken up the first 8. (Yes, I hate doing laundry.) I just sat there smoking a cigarette and pretending to watch T.V.
Later that night...
I was standing folding all my clothes and she was taking her clothes out of the dryer. We kept bumping into each other and giggling and whispering "excuse me." So out of boredom she looks at me and says, "My god child, that's a hell of a lot of laundry."
I laughed, "I really hate doing laundry."
She said, "Yea, I can tell!"
I added, (here comes stupid part), "I wish I could hire someone to do my laundry I hate it so much."
At this point, she raises her eyebrows and gets into "bitch" mode with her hands on her hips.
"Oh yeah," She says, "Yeah, you wanna hire someone like a nigger! Like a slave! Shit you white folks will never learn!!!"
Tears welled up in my eyes.
"No, no" I said softly, "no I didn't mean like that. I meant like, um, like, um, like I wanted a wife!" I smiled, and then she returned my smile with laughter.
Note: This woman is laughing for one of three reasons:
#1. It's one of those laughs when you are so fucking pissed off that if you don't release some type of energy you'll burst, and laughter comes out
#2. She's thinking of places to put my body (gulp)
OR...
#3. She really thinks I'm funny.
Well, it wasn't #3. I don't know which option it was, I didn't want to find out. Obviously I had offended this woman, and I was gonna get the hell out. I stopped folding my clothes, and shoved them in baskets and ran. You never realize what you say to people until it's too late. Maybe she was being a bit dramatic, or maybe I have a lot to learn. Whatever the case, I feel terrible and I am pondering ever talking to strangers again...

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