i Wish i Could Be On Time!

28 April 2004

it has been one of those days. you know the kind, the kind where you realize everything around you is about to change. the faces, the places, even the food. i don't like change. it scares me to death. it takes me so long to get used to something, and then it all changes. and it's never slowly, this change business, in the academic world, it is all at once. one minute you are sitting in geology, the next you're not. the professors change as well. they shift around during the last class period, they stumble their words. the students are anxious for the class to be over, and even the chalkboards are tired and ready for a break. everything is ready for it to be over, everyone but me. i spend the entire semester bitching, and as soon as i realize it is about to change, i freak. i get this idea in my head that if i put things off, then it will last longer, except that you can't do that. papers are due, presentations have to be made, etc...am i the only one that feels this way? i dunno!! i hate that i can't have the same professor next semester. i hate that i have to get used to a whole new personality. it's like how i felt when i was a child, everyone leaves me at one point or another. it's my biggest fear: that i will be alone.

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