i Wish i Could Be On Time!

30 May 2004

Hey, hey! What's up everyone!? I'm still with no job, low on cash, and bored out of my mind. Thank god I have summer classes to keep me busy reading!!! Well, I just wanted to give you all a shout and let you know I am thinking of all of you who read!!! (Wink, wink)...

28 May 2004

Today has been a decent day. Not one that I would say I'd live over and over again, but I wouldn't mind glimpsing into this day again. It all started out with me waking up to a cool breeze (that would be my handy fan from Wal-mart) and my two precious kitties in bed with me. Then I finished reading what I would consider one of the best books I have ever read in my entire life; This Side of Paradise. It was such a marvelous adventure and I think that all kids after leaving high school and during that transitional summer before college should be required to read. Then after class I handed my professor (again what I feel) one of the most important emails I have ever received. (Along with the one email from Janet Todd). This particular email was from JT LeRoy. He read it and was very appreciative in my passing it on to him. He actually spoke to JT on the phone!!! I'm soooo jealous! Anyway, I fumbled around with my words and expressed to my professor, Ken, my concern about the quizzes he gives in class. He just laughed and said, "You’re worried! Please!?!? Just keep talking in class, you always say such intelligent things." and with that he smiled and bid me a good holiday weekend. Intelligent wouldn't exactly be the word I would call myself, but OK! :)

23 May 2004

Song

Lonely hearts fallin’
I speak your name
Whispers are callin’
Love’s just a game

Cryin’ through thunder
Laughin’ through rain
Hearts beatin’ under
Blood rushin’ veins

Music is humin’
Lights are down low
I kept your comin’
Your tears fell so slow

I kissed you real soft
I held you all night
But you still were lost
And out of my sight

I miss your sky
I wish you were here
Why did you lie?
And give into fear?

Lonely hearts fallin’
I speak your name
Whispers are callin’
Love’s just a game

Cryin’ through thunder
Laughin’ through rain
Hearts beatin’ under
Blood rushin’ veins

Voices are missin’
Shadows have won
Clouds have stopped kissin’
The brightness is done

Clashin’ through songs
Lyrics have died
The silence too long
Don’t say goodbye

Blue eyes so tired
My heart wants to weep
Monday I heard
She was yours to keep

Lonely hearts fallin’
I speak your name
Whispers are callin’
Love’s just a game

Cryin’ through thunder
Laughin’ through rain
Hearts beatin’ under
Blood rushin’ veins

Tomorrow I’ll wake
While the sun still sleeps
My body will ache
The covers will keep

a spot for you
right by my side
the neighbors all knew
that I’m still livin’ this lie

where you will come home
and I will be here
waiting alone
‘till the end of the years

Lonely hearts fallin’
I speak your name
Whispers are callin’
Love’s just a game

Cryin’ through thunder
Laughin’ through rain
Hearts beatin’ under
Blood rushin’ veins

London Kennedy

22 May 2004

I have a whole slew of shit to tell you all…
It’s funny how life can change by the minute. Within 60 seconds, one aspect of your life can change so dramatically that it leaves your head spinning. This is how the past week or so has been. I began taking my classes at Oxford (main campus). I was a nervous wreck! The first day was Monday, and I was so sure after my class that I was going to drop out of college and forget the whole fucking thing. Costs too much money anyway. But, after Wednesday’s class, I was reassured that there are in fact some intellectual students at Miami University. I re-read the novel My Antonia by Willa Cather. It was the third time reading, first in 8th grade, then in 10th grade, followed by my 4th year at Miami. I hated it even more this time. Class discussion is so utterly intriguing that when our professor Ken bids us goodbye, I just look around excited and dumbfounded. So far, this class is interesting. Ask me about it in a few weeks…I lost my job at the blues club, which is ironic because I was sitting and talking to one boss about quitting when the other boss casually walks in to inform me I was fired. Oh, I’m sorry, “let go.” That sounds so much better, right? Excuse me, is there a difference?! Well, anyway, business at the club has been slow, slow, slow. I was typically going home at like 11PM on most Friday nights with a whooping $45 dollars in my pocket. Because I was the last part-time employee, it was my time to say farewell. Yeah, no qualms about loosing this job…except that I don’t have another one. The road of unemployment is always there for me. Gotta love consistency! At least now I don’t have to bother with idiot people, and booze, and bad moods or heavy make-up. The pores on my face are singing gleefully now that they have had some air. Lastly, I finally met him! You know, that man I have been searching for; the one who has been lost. Yea, you remember. He is wonderful. So wonderful in fact that it scares me. I am waiting for him to beat me or scream at me at some point, but he just looks at me and tells me I am beautiful instead. He’s surreal. I need to touch him to make sure he is not some figment of my imagination. He is from Germany and attends UC. Shut up, they gave him an offer. So while teaching German at the university, he is finishing up his Master’s program which he will complete this August, and beginning in the fall he will stat his PhD program, in (get this) literature. Wow! On top of his brilliant mind, his artistic abilities are breathtaking. He is a concert pianist. You should hear the dude bang Mozart on the piano. We have a lot in common as far as the important stuff: politics, religion, literature, and art. And since he is so new to the states (he has only been here for nine months) I feel like I am living all over again. For example, the other night we had Graeter’s ice cream in which he responded, “oh, good. This is good!” He has made me begin to appreciate things in a new way. I’ll keep you updated. Love, London

15 May 2004

Current Status :
While my grades were not exactly what I had hoped (I got straight B's), my mom says to me, "you would have killed for those kind of grades in high school." Yea, thanks for the support, mom. I feel like shit tonight: sore throat, snot dripping, coughing, etc...So to cheer myself up I painted my nails pink. Oh, they are soooo pretty!!!

12 May 2004

I never saw another bumblebee
A play
By: London Kennedy

Stage: bare, five wooden stools
No lighting except spotlight, only black curtain for backdrop
Children ages 6-10 only, three girls, two boys, wearing raggedy clothing
Messy hair, only the clip-on type of microphones

Child one: (a boy)
Spotlight on him, he is sitting in a stool stage right

I
I never saw another bumble bee
Not like the ones my mommy would point out when we were at the park. Where the grass is the soft kind that tickles your bare knees and is the color of green leprechauns. The bumble bees fly about, and I wasn’t afraid when I was little. I thought they were fun to watch. There was one time when I got stung. My mommy picked me up and held me close to her chest; I can remember her heart beating so fast. But I wasn’t scared. I liked that she was holding me.
I still remember the very day when I began to become frightened by bumble bees. It was an Easter Sunday. We came out of church, my mommy and daddy and my older sister and me and we shook Father Paul’s hand we were leaving. I remember there was a bumble bee flying around his sweaty arms and he was swatting at it as the sun beamed into my eyes.
That night was the first time my mommy hit me. She was mad because I ate too much candy from the Easter Bunny before dinner. When I couldn’t eat the ham she had cooked all day with the pineapples, she got really, really mad. Usually she would just send me to my room without any supper, but for whatever reason, that day, she got really, really mad. She raised up her hand, it was closed in a fist, and hit my left ear so hard I couldn’t hear for a few minutes. I cried and cried but she still kept hitting me. I don’t remember what my daddy or my older sister was doing. All I saw was her hand. Over and over again. My ear began to bleed, and I kept trying not to cry, but it hurt so bad. I curled up into a ball, like I do when I am scared at night in my bed, but she still kept hitting me.
The next day, she said she was sorry. We went to the park but the grass was itchy and brown. The bumble bees turned into these fierce monsters like the kind that hide under my bed at night.
I
I never saw another bumble bee…

Lights fade
Darkness
A quiet voice begins to speak softly

Child two: (a girl)
Spotlight stage left

I never saw another bumble bee
They were always weird anyway. I remember once at Girl Scout camp the girl named Betsy got stung and she said it tickled. I didn’t believe her then, and I don’t believe her now. Another time I was at horse back riding camp, and a bumble bee stung my horse’s leg. The horse got sooo scared it began to run really, really fast. I thought it was kind of fun! My dad hates bumble bees. He says if he gets stung he has to go to the hospital and get a shot. He says he is allergic. I think it is odd for him to be allergic to a little bumble bee, but he swears on it.
For three years from the time I was three years old, (now I am eight) my dad would come to my room and pull down the covers and play with my tummy and tell me I was beautiful. I liked when he told me this. Then one time he touched me in my special spot. The spot that makes me different from my dad and I know this because I have seen his spot, and there is nothing special about it. I never told my mom because my dad said not to. But one time he hurt me really, really bad. He shoved his fingers into me and his fingernails scraped my skin.
After that, I slept with a bumblebee stuffed animal because I figured if he were allergic then bumble, that was my stuffed bumble bee’s name, would protect me. Turns out, my dad is only allergic to the living kind of bumble bees…
I never saw another bumble bee…

Darkness
Crying
Quivering voice

Child three: (a girl)
Spotlight center stage

I never, never saw another bum…bum…bumble beeeee
My real dad died when I was a little girl. I don’t remember him. But I remember the man who replaced him. I called him dad too, even though I didn’t want to; but it made my mom happy, so I did. At first he was not-so-bad, he would take me and my three brothers fishing and we would have a good time. He liked when I would put the worm on the hook. He said that most little girls my age wouldn’t know how to do it properly. That made me feel extra special. One time, my baby brother Jake got real sick. We had to drive him home, but dad, my second dad that is, wanted to keep fishing, so he offered to take my two brothers and me back to the lake. But my brothers didn’t want to go without Jake, but I kinda did, so I went.
I hate him, I wanted him to die
He turned the boat over and I almost drowned! I hadn’t taken swimming lessons since the past summer, I felt like I was breathing in water instead of air. Dad rescued me and gave me mouth-to-mouth, but this wasn’t like on T.V. or anything, he swirled his tongue and stuck his thing in me. I hurt so bad and I was cold and I think I may have even wet myself…
I never saw another bumble bee…

Darkness

Child Four (a Boy)
Spotlight stage right

I never saw a bumble bee to even begin with.
I grew up in utter darkness
In a little room with a tiny bed no bigger that two feet long. My parents slid a tray of food under my door. I don’t know what the sun looks like, and I am afraid of it if you want to know the truth.
I know or at least I can imagine what a bumble bee sting feels like because my parents used to poke me with needles that was filled with clear fluid. It made me feel funny inside and dizzy
I didn’t like it, but after so many times I knew what to expect
I always work up from the fluid covered in poop.
I don’t know why or what this was from, but at least my parents would leave me a towel and a bar of cracked soap to clean up with.
Plus after the fluid, I always got a coloring book.
That is how at least I know what bumble bees look like
I never saw another bumble bee…

Darkness

Child Five (A girl)
Spotlight stage left

I never saw another bumble bee.
Not after the time I got stung by over twelve of them
I used to be a bumble bee charmer, and my mamma would give me a quarter to go and collect honey from their nest. I had lots of quarters
Sometimes my mamma liked to use the honey for her tea, but other times she put it in her beer
She liked to drink beer at night, and she said the honey made the beer taste better. She said it was a special kind of beer; it was made out of wheat. I didn’t know what any of this meant, but she sure liked it.
When I couldn’t sleep my mamma would let me drink some of her honey beer. It made me feel like a grown-up and I liked that very much.
My mamma said I was her partner and I liked that because this meant I could sleep in bed with her. The girls at my school said this was weird, but I think they were just jealous. My mamma was the best….
I never saw another bumble bee…

Darkness
Close curtain

Keep in mind, this came to me at 3AM!!!

11 May 2004

My God! Blogger has been hard at work! Everything is changed! What is this dashboard shit! I detest change!!! Anyway, all is well. I am waiting for my grades. I am utterly terrified. Pray for me!!!

04 May 2004

Every change of the season
Consider one year attempts
Cutting through thick colorless canvass skin
Hands stiff
Splintered wood
Spoon fingers churning stew
Stony vision skipping through waters rough
Skeleton thoughts
Sever sounds of contentment
Wrath hollering blues piano music
Passing over fields of protein
Playing accordion heart waves
Swallowing plasma
Hourglass dress protruding with no child inside
Curdled milky nipples
Time ticking suspicious
Garden of Eden grows only in hell
Crunchy celery ants digging
Oxygen soiled blankets
Stolen plastic miniature flags
Music box spectators
One last song
london kennedy

i down loaded yahoo! instant messenger, now you all can write me if your wish! my id is egeria30. she is the roman goddess of fountains; her name was used for a woman who instructed other women. :) cool, huh?

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