i Wish i Could Be On Time!

29 November 2004

One holiday down, one holiday to go...('cause I don't count News Years)
My sister really pulled off a beautiful Thanksgiving, complete with all the trimmings: stuffing, cranberry sauce, and sweet potatoes, not to mention the awesome turkey (yum, yum!). We all had a wonderful dinner. I taught my brother-in-law, my mom, my little sister, and my ten-year-old niece how to play a fast paced card game, only later to regret it as my sister and I stood around watching them and laughing. It was all really wonderful. Wolfe ended up going to Pittsburgh with his friend, and at first I was bummed out, but later I realized that we just couldn't come up with a compromise this time, and I was ok with that...life did in fact go on. I spent the rest of the days with my friend Latasha. We went and saw a drag show and laughed about how the guys had better legs than us. Then we went out dancing, and despite the attendance of one girl I don't particularly get along with, we made it work and ended up having a blast. I caught up on much needed hours of sleep, didn't do any homework and thoroughly enjoyed my four days off. Now, it's back to reality...

24 November 2004

You know I feel like everyone is looking for the wish bone inside of my body. They all pull one way or the other. My wish bone won't break. It's tough. I don't want fate to pick who gets the bigger half, who gets the wish, who won; I want to decide. Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family, food, and gratitude; except that I don't feel anything. I don't have a family to go to because they won't stop fighting even though my older sister has opened her home for a nice dinner for all of us; my mother won't stop bitching at her. So that's out. Minus one for the family. I want turkey for Thanksgiving, is that so wrong to ask? I'm going to have lunch with a friend of Wolfe's and I'm looking forward to meeting the friend and his wife, but that is at 1pm. What will we do afterwards? You know that Fred and his wife aren't going to prepare a turkey lunch! I want turkey, damn! My friend Latasha invited Wolfe and I to go have dinner with her family, but Wolfe is being stubborn and says he won't go because of Latasha. So that's out. Minus two for the food. Right now, I'm not so thankful for my life. I sit here shaking and very tired from lack of sleep the past two nights and I want to curl up and sleep or die, either one will do. So that's out. Minus three for gratitude.
I love my mother. I love my sisters. I love my best friend. I love my boyfriend. They all mean the world to me. I couldn't imagine my life without any of them. I don't want to be pulled. I'm not a wish bone.

22 November 2004

Well another weekend has come and gone. It always goes by so fast. I've been working on my seminar paper (my first one ever) for my independent study and I officially presented my paper topic to Dr Johnson on Friday (which she approved) and now I'm working on the introduction to hand in tomorrow. Ahhh!!!! Wish me luck with this one! :s I feel much better tonight, and I think that this stomach flu is finally over. Thank god! Note to Chris: I haven't forgotten!!!

18 November 2004

It seems as though I have been here before. Every year, around this time. I hate the transition from fall to winter. Once it gets cold and sticks, I'm fine, it's just the time in between. The air still breathes warmth yet the clouds gather and block the sun. I'm sick...again. I've had this stomach flu thing. No fun. I have spent the past 5 days in and out of bed, barely eating, and very achy. At least the vomiting and fever has stopped. I always get sick at the wrong times. This week alone, I've missed an exam, a lecture for work, three days of work and 3 1/2 days of classes. Well, at least today I made it to Spanish. Late. Nevertheless, I was there, although I don't remember too much. I've been sleeping so much. Now my eyes hurt from sleeping and my stomach is growling for food, but if I eat...well...I'm not going to draw a picture. I will be so incredibly happy when this semester is over. It has been the hardest semester ever. I thought this independent study would be my easiest class, I could never have been more wrong. It's kicking my ass...speaking of, I need to go finish reading my latest book, _So Far from God_, which by the way if you haven't read you must. It's a "must" type book!

12 November 2004

You know I really thought something would change after my father died, like I would wake up with a new body, but here it is, the same damn one. The one he touched and loved so very much. I'm even included in his obituary, how sweet of him to remember my sister and I. I think the thing that bothers me the most is I thought I'd know before I really knew, as if this black cloud resting in my dreams would disappear. Nothing has changed. Except now I don't have to look over my shoulder anymore.

07 November 2004

Numbly Laughing...

It had been the end of a hellish week with the stress of school, work, the election, and so on...

I left my Spanish class with $3 in hand, got into my car and drove to the nearest gas station-- Dairy Mart. Even though I am now 24 years of age, I am still carded just about everywhere, but this was not the straw that broke the camel's back.

I was about 3/4 the way out of the parking lot (with the back butt of my bumper technically still on Dairy Mart property), and just in front of me there was a SUV waiting patiently for the light to turn green. The next thing I knew, she threw her car in reverse and hit me to avoid a semi-truck from smashing into the front of her car. I'm not upset, just jolted a bit, no I'm rather numb. A few seconds passed, I tossed my cigarette out the narrow slot of my window, grabbed the wheel with both hands and lost it...I couldn't stop laughing. It was similar to one of those books where you could pick your own ending-- I wouldn't have picked a more perfect ending to my week. I laughed so hard, tears feel from my eyes. Since then, I have had one headache after another and I'm not the headache type girl, but I think it is all the stress, or maybe I laughed too hard...but now my headlights are lopsided! Ha!

05 November 2004

A Stronger America
I wanted to wait a few days until I posted anything about the election. Unfortunately, the results I had hoped for was not the outcome; but I do believe that Kerry’s words are still in every American’s mind and heart. A Stronger America, that is what Kerry hoped for, and I think that is what he got and even though he did not win, he still achieved his goal. I believe this because I watched many people around me come together and work for what s/he believed in, I saw people rally together on that cold, rainy Election Day holding signs along the roadways. I know people that worked at the Democratic Headquarters, worked at the polls, wrote letters, made phone calls, I know people that came together. I know that on Election night, as I hung up the phone from my friend (who was pro-Bush), she wished me good luck for my candidate, and the next day when I phoned her, she muttered, “I’m sorry you lost,” and it was not because she was rubbing it in my face, but because she really meant what she said. Even though we are on opposite ends of the political spectrum, I find something powerful in the fact that we can still maintain our friendship. I feel that through this Election, we have all created a stronger America, and in Kerry’s last speech when he said that our voices would still be heard, I believe this. Therefore, whether your candidate won or lost, I hope that we can all continue to grow together, raise our voices and become that stronger America that Kerry so much wanted.

02 November 2004

Vote, vote, vote!!!!
Good luck!
:)

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