i Wish i Could Be On Time!

19 September 2005

This was the single most difficult weekend I've had in a long, long time. A long time. Wolfe and I have been very distant over the past few weeks, so in conclusion, we had a long discussion (I cried the whole fucking time) but things were resolved when I realized nearly most of it was my fault because I suck at the girlfriend thing and we talked for hours and I cried some more. Now we are just working on our relationship and I'm working on the girlfriend part. Together, this will work, damn it! I will be successful at this relationship because I realize now that he's my partner-in-crime and one of my best friends even when we don't get along and things aren't that bad after all because I'm content and comfortable with him in my life and why change that? However, on a good note: I did get to see one of my oldest and bestest friends in the whole wide world this weekend--Tarah!! It was so weird seeing her pushing a stroller around with a kid in it and everyone stopped to baby talk with Audrey and my god, Tarah is all grown up! :) It was great to see her, it's been forever and I've missed her, now I just need a Latasha fix and I'll be set to go. Today I went to a spa day with my friend Farrah at this bookstore/wellness center called Seven Sisters, which is new in Hamilton and is doing quite well which makes me happy. It was delightful and relaxing. I have a ton of reading to do for my classes and I just can't get the motivation to do so, I need a kick in the ass, but I can't reach it!!

04 September 2005

I had the most amazing time in San Diego and fell in love with the people who live there and the beaches that surround them. For the first few weeks after arriving back in dreary Ohio, I seemed to have fallen into this mild depression, yearning for the sound of the waves, but now I am beginning to reappear into reality once again as I sit at my laptop and occasionally glance down at my pile of books I have to read for my classes. This fall semester at Miami University has already proven to be challenging and we are only going into the third week, but already I have read for hours upon hours, written a paper, among other things. I am getting close to graduation and the fear of leaving my "not-quite-yet" adulthood is toying with me. The idea of officially growing-up and being responsible utterly frightens me, so in conclusion, I have decided to go on to graduate school. I want to study library science because my love for literature and my hatred for society seem to fit quite well into the job description (at least I pretend it does), and I know I will always struggle for money, I was born poor and will probably remain poor, so becoming a librarian is extremely appealing at the moment. My best friend, Latasha, was engaged (congratulations, girl!) and I cannot even talk about it because it scares the shit out of me. I can't believe she's getting married! I wonder how her mama is handling all this, but at least her guy is absolutely perfect for her and they are the best of friends. Speaking of, Wolfe and I are still together and doing well, although I am a shit-for-brains as a girlfriend, I don't know why he even sticks around sometimes. Last Wednesday (31 August) was his birthday and here I sit with no gift for him because I suck being a girlfriend and I have disappointed him very much, (although I must say I did try twice to prepare a lovely birthday gift for him, but both times, I was unsuccessful). I have lots of making up to do for him, but I will see him tomorrow, treat him to his favorite restaurant, and hopefully scrape enough dough to get him something small. He was so wonderful to me on my birthday and he got me a beautiful fountain pen, dinner at a nice Italian restaurant, and much more. I'm a jerk...

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